About “I’ve become a father”

February 2017

Last weekend I found out that I’m going to be a father! I’m going to be a dad..! My significant other is carrying our baby… MY baby… My first one… So what do I do now? Whats going to happen?

Apart from give my darling a huge hug and kiss, I have no idea. They didn’t teach me about this at school. They didn’t tell me anything at college either. Apparently its not a common social activity to ask your workmates about it-  the blokes all look at you blankly and the women keep asking about my partner. Same thing at the BBQ, shooting pool and playing sport. I can’t ask my father, he passed on over 15 years ago. He was a gentle, shy man and didn’t ever get around to having “The talk.” with me. His one mention of parenthood occurred in the 1980’s after I’d left home and amounted to “They don’t give you a handbook on how to be a parent, and you don’t get second chances. You just love your children and hope it all works out.”

Okay, a little about me… I’m nearly fifty, (yes 50!), Caucasian/ white/ european origin, went to school and college/ university, going grey around the temples, do a bit of hiking in the mountains and take photographs for fun when I’m not stuck in the office. I live in New Zealand, which is found between Australia and Antartica. And I’m going to be a father…

My partner has been on the phone, emailing and talking all week to her girlfriends, her mum, her sisters, my mum, our neighbors.. all women, and all of them giving similar support and helpful advice. She’s even been to the local doctor / GP / medical centre to start the healthcare process. They gave her a package of brochures and information leaflets to bring home… More about that later.

Me? well, I have no idea what my role is, or should be… I have no real concept of whats going to happen to my lovely partner, apart from naively “have a baby”… But what does that actually mean? Where do I find out all this stuff?

Well, its been a week and I haven’t a clue. But I am going to find out. Because I do love my partner. I do want to support her and help her, and by extension, my/ our baby every way possible.

Try and remember that I am not a doctor or expert in this field. I’m an average guy who’s struggling to find out what he needs to know. And I figure that if I’m having trouble finding stuff about being a father / dad / parent , then there’s a good chance that I am not alone.

So please, pull up a chair and join me for my weekly roundup of my journey into fatherhood. And if you would like to offer assistance or advice, please share..

From a new father..

Neil